The Long Goodbye……

August 18

Alice – Off and on for years we have had many close calls with my grandpa spending so much time with him naturally i had questions and of course i voiced my concerns some of my questions where what would he like people to wear to funeral and just like the movie how to deal the girls boyfriend dies and instead of black she wears the bright yellow outfit that he loved grandpa said basically the same thing you aren’t dressing for the people there you are dressing for Mike Stapleton everyone remember this grandpa is colorful and loving and he loved jokes.

I don’t even feel like today was real I keep wanting to wake up he can’t possibly be gone the last time i saw him he looked just fine he told his nurse that’s my granddaughter and my great granddaughter we laughed and played sam was having a blast so in my head a choice keeps saying its not real it cant be real you saw him laying there he didn’t look right he’s not gone this is all wrong please this is all wrong

Lily – One year ago today, my blessed grandchildren, Sam and Abby lost a grandfather; today they are here with us to honor the life of another. Heavenly Father, give us all strength to walk in your light through really hard days and nights. Amen

©2016 Susan Kendall. All rights reserved

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Reality Sucks……

Jami – So I have been walking around on auto-pilot for the last few days. Sort of in a state of non-reality.

My dad passed away this past Sunday. I’ve kept this event pushed out of my mind as I have numbly walked through the past 3 days. However, I just went to the funeral home to drop off pictures and reality tried to rush back in.

If I didn’t know the truth I could almost say he’s sleeping. Which is something that didn’t happen easily for him. I half expect him to open his eyes and shoot me a sarcastic remark for watching him sleep.

The tears that I’ve kept at bay are starting to show themselves as I tell him I love him and I’ll miss him.

I know that he is no longer in pain and I’m grateful for that but that doesn’t change the fact that I wish he was still here with us. He makes us better in a way that I can’t explain. He can express anything to you with a quiet look. We always knew how he felt about us even without words. I love you dad and you will forever be in my heart.

Keri – As I sit in my mother’s temporarily quiet living room trying to find the right words, I have come to the realization I am still too raw to describe how I feel.

As many of you know, Jeff and I took our daughter to Colby, Kansas so she could take the first steps toward reaching her dreams.

What I haven’t been able to share is that on Sunday morning my father… my children’s grandfather… The love of my mother’s life, took the final steps of his and passed away in Topeka.

I have been through an emotional gauntlet that has taken me three days to even try to attempt to write about. And as my mom sleeps-something, as you can imagine, she hasn’t done a lot of-I still cannot adequately put into words the extent of the hole my dad’s loss has produced.

I can barely see through the tears welling in my eyes and my body is jerking as I try to hold my sobs at bay long enough to finish.

I love you, Dad, I always have, I always will.

I wish you hadn’t gone, and I am a selfish child who wants you back!

You made my life-all our lives-better.

You are deeply missed.

Amanda – My sweet girl Sherra’s father has passed away. He will be so greatly missed by his daughter, myself and all of his many family and friends. I feel very privileged that I was welcomed into his family by him; such a loving, wise, kind and gentle man.

©2016 Susan Kendall. All rights reserved

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Painful Days and Nights……

August 15

Alice – So here it is one of the most important people in my life has past he moved on he can no longer cheer me up crack jokes and sarcasm watch whatever game is on or haggle the lowest price he is just gone and thinking about it hurts and not seeing him on the scheduled. Days is gonna hurt and not being able to here his crankiness to me being a smartass is gonna hurt but he is no longer hurting so that is the bright side aand because oof that it will be ok

Alice – The stories i have to tell there’s to many so many memories like grandpa getting peed on by a turtle or the time we went to see the men who stare at goats and of course building the pond we worked so hard on this pond and gardening and at the house in illinous there was a chipmunk who loved grandpas sunglasses so we are i. The back digging and decide to go get some Burger King on the way to the car grandpa stops by the tree where he left his sunglasses and looks around noticing they are gone so of course i must have them after i prove i don’t i go over and look and there in a hole between the rocks they are stuck so i go to grab them when this little chipmunk comes out of no where scaring me grandpa chuckles and well lets just say those sunglasses never came back

Kyra Rose – I spent my night and morning trying to figure out what to say about the events of yesterday. The truth is, there is nothing I can really say. I’m having a hard time believing this is real. I’m having a hard time believing that yesterday wasn’t a dream. That I’m not just going to wake up and Climb down off my bunkbed and swing open the door to my room and run across the hall to find him sleeping in their room. Or that I can’t just drive across town to find him in his blue lighted TV room watching his shows.

He accepted me for not only who I am but who I want to be. When he asked me my plans and I answered, there was no lecture, no “well will you make enough” or ” I think you should consider your options” there was a “well if you need anything we are here and let’s do it.” I had a shoulder to cry on and someone who could be as raw and understanding as me.

I had someone who was my grandpa, an extra father figure, and my friend. I feel like I didn’t tell him enough that I love him. I feel like I should have done more to see him more often.

But I know that he knew I love him and he knew I was off trying to make my dream a reality. I was out doing what I had to do for me. He knew I cared and he wouldn’t want to beat myself up for it.

More importantly, I know he loves me and that he wants only the best. This is only more reason to become who I will be, because he wanted me to be myself and no one else. Alright grandpa, I got this from here. You rest now and I will see you when I get there. I love you and I miss you, but I know where to find you when I need you. Rest easy….

Kaylen – I think it’s time for a college update. Well I have settled into my dorm and have become good friends with my roommate Maria. My classes start tomorrow though and I am nervous for that but I know I will be okay. I have also turned in an application for work study at the Horse Barn so I can spend as much time as I can with the horses. Hopefully I will get picked.

I have however lost a person whom I was very close to and that person was my beloved Grandfather Mike Stapleton. He would always give me the best advice and if I need to tell a a joke or one of his crazy stories. I will miss him very much but I know that he is still watching over me. I’m going to make him and the rest of my family and friends proud by kicking butt in school.

©2016 Susan Kendall. All rights reserved

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Gray Skies……..

August 14

Lily – The love of my life passed away this am. I will miss him every day, his humor, his spontaneity, his love and affection for me and ours.

Sherra – My father  the best father anybody could ask for. Passed away this a.m. and I just want the world to know what an awesome guy he was! He meant the world to me and so many others. Please pray for me and my family. And pray for my fathers journey to go be with God the best journey of all. I love you dad

These Facebook Posts were made by me, and Mike’s daughter, the day our world rocked and shifted on its axis. Our daughters and three oldest granddaughters shared their grief and pain on Facebook in moving tributes and lots of love for Mike. I wanted to share the first few days of our new normal with Lilypad Float readers…….

©2016 Susan Kendall. All rights reserved

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